2008 Woodie Awards
Everybody's Free (To Wear Converse)
Entertainmentality
in EntertainmentIssue date: 5/12/05
- Page 1 of 3 next >
Back in 1999, Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich wrote an advice column for graduates that spread through the Internet and was turned into a song in 2002 by Baz Luhrmann. Later, ESPN columnist Jim Caple reformed it for graduating, budding pro-athletes. So, I've revised it for all of you graduates heading out into the tumultuous world of rock 'n' roll.
Graduating rock star hopefuls of the class of 2005: wear Converse.
If I could offer you one tip for the future, Converse would be it. The long-term benefits of wearing Converse can be proven by the fact that they're the only shoe that looks better the dirtier it gets, whereas the rest of my advice hasn't been in any Grammy Award acceptance speeches.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the beauty of your youth and the power of a record deal. Oh, nevermind. You will not understand the beauty of your youth until a lack of sleep, too many drugs, too much alcohol, too many cigarettes and years of touring have made you look like Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger do now, and all your female fans are swooning over a 20-something prodigy who sounds like he hasn't gone through puberty.
But, trust me, 20 years from now, you'll look back at your discography and realize everything after your third album was shit, and you really should have held on to your fourth drummer.
You are not as fat as you imagine. In fact, that cocaine diet makes you look like you could use a few hundred big macs.
Don't worry about the future. Or, worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to compute your gross from record sales by chewing on Mama Cass' ham sandwich. The real troubles in your life are apt to be the things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Monday, when some lawyer accuses you of ripping off a harmony or two from some band from the '70s.
Sing. Chicks dig lead singers.
Do one thing on every album that scares you. Gotta keep the fans guessing.
Graduating rock star hopefuls of the class of 2005: wear Converse.
If I could offer you one tip for the future, Converse would be it. The long-term benefits of wearing Converse can be proven by the fact that they're the only shoe that looks better the dirtier it gets, whereas the rest of my advice hasn't been in any Grammy Award acceptance speeches.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the beauty of your youth and the power of a record deal. Oh, nevermind. You will not understand the beauty of your youth until a lack of sleep, too many drugs, too much alcohol, too many cigarettes and years of touring have made you look like Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger do now, and all your female fans are swooning over a 20-something prodigy who sounds like he hasn't gone through puberty.
But, trust me, 20 years from now, you'll look back at your discography and realize everything after your third album was shit, and you really should have held on to your fourth drummer.
You are not as fat as you imagine. In fact, that cocaine diet makes you look like you could use a few hundred big macs.
Don't worry about the future. Or, worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to compute your gross from record sales by chewing on Mama Cass' ham sandwich. The real troubles in your life are apt to be the things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Monday, when some lawyer accuses you of ripping off a harmony or two from some band from the '70s.
Sing. Chicks dig lead singers.
Do one thing on every album that scares you. Gotta keep the fans guessing.
Be the first to comment on this story